The sun will shine again...

I went on vacation the beginning of August. I took my kids and my best friend and her three children. 7 kids 2 adults in a small trailer for a week! What was I thinking! The kids had a blast though and it was an exhausting trip. The first day my husband calls bearing bad news on his grandfather. He was diagnosed with cancer a while back but it has now consumed him. His time is limited. Within days I am sure. It is something really hard to deal with considering my husbands grandfather is his #1. He is his icon, his hero. This is tearing him apart. Then we get the news that his friends son was diagnosed with leukemia. An amazing 12 year old boy is fighting for his life. Then on top of that we get the news that a dear dear friend of ours flat lined during surgery and was in ICU on life support. He amazingly came out of his coma but he is still in very critical condition. I went to visit him today. To be honest it made it worse. Seeing him with all those tubes everywhere and no idea what is going on, he was severely sedated and also he was restrained to the bed because he is suffering ICU psychosis. I was watching his eyes rolling back and him trying to speak. But he has a trach so it makes it really hard. Looking at him made me think about all the great memories I had, It was so sad. I just wanted to rip it all away and take away the pain. How much can one person take? He is such a wonderful man. He was a former NFL player, currently head coach of high School football in the area, he even led them to the Championship last year. Tomorrow he was suppose to start the new season and he is layed up in the bed and no one knows if he will ever be the same. It is so unfair. I just wanted to hold him, but the nurses said to much attention makes him start to breath to hard, and begins to vomit through the trach. God to see someone you love, not just one but three fighting so hard for their lives. This year has really opened my eyes. I have been fortunate to not experience a lot of death around me. I mean my aunt died of cancer (it will be 6 years on the 31st) and my grandmother passed away shortly after. Life has a whole new meaning to me. I know death is always eminent but I tend to go on like nothing will ever happen to anyone I love. I need to step away from my bubble. Stop putting off telling those I care that I love them. I Hug my children a little tighter tonight, stop washing the dishes and go outside and play with them. Just because life can change in an instant. I don't want to regret what I haven't done. Maybe I am having a pity party for myself here I dont know.

Heres to you Big E.... Make a speedy recovery... Im pulling for you... You need to get back on that field lead your sons team to another championship! I love you!